"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you will in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
Dale Carnegie
I have taught over 1,000 classes around the world, and the best thing I have ever done was to train myself to remember names. I have done this for each student I meet even before the class begins. I start each class by asking each student to introduce themselves and to briefly explain what they want to get out of the course. I then call a student by name, and the process begins.
“Diana, what brings you to class today?”
I never use the name tags. Memorizing American names is challenging, but remembering Indian, Chinese, European, and African names is extremely difficult. I will show you how to remember even the most difficult of names.
Most people can recognize faces, but they cannot remember names. Some people believe that there are multiple ways to do things, but let me tell you that there is only one way to memorize names. If you do not do what I say, you will not be able to do it. Follow my instructions exactly, understand my theories, and you will succeed almost every time. It will be the best career move you have ever made.
Turn off your eyes
Theory Number One: Your eyes are your worst enemy and your best friend!
To accomplish name memorization, you have to be flexible and adaptable because you must turn off your eyes to hear a person’s name, and then turn your eyes back on to paint visual pictures. Let me explain further.
A shark’s brain has evolved for millions of years so that one-third of its mind dedicates to smelling blood. When there is blood in the water, a shark will instinctively hunt for its prey. It can think of nothing else because the shark’s mind floods with information about the smell.
A human’s brain has evolved so that one-third of our mind dedicates to sight. When you meet someone, your eyes are your worst enemy to hearing and remembering their name. Your eyes are your worst enemy because your eyes take over and flood your brain with visual messages. You most often will not even hear their name or, if you do, you cannot recall it seconds later.
So, the only chance you have in remembering a person’s name is to defy instinct and concentrate on hearing their name. I call this portion of the process, “Turning Off My Eyes.” It is the most challenging piece of this entire process, and that is why I told you that your eyes are your worst enemy. Sight dominates every human being, and your eyesight is a dominating force.
So, turn off your sight and focus on opening up your ears!
Once you hear their name ask them a question, which will give you time to concentrate on memorizing their name, such as “What brings you to class today?” As they answer, I continue to repeat their name in my head, which is not easy or comfortable.
Sometimes when I explain the process to students, they tell me that they cannot concentrate on what the person is saying. Other times they tell me that this feels fake or uncomfortable. To pull off something of this magnitude, you have to know how to make tradeoffs.
Turn on your eyes to paint visualizations
Now, as you look directly at them, you must turn your eyes back on to paint three vivid pictures with associations to remember their name.
I like these three visualizations:
1) A famous person who has the same name.
2) A friend or family member with the same name.
3) Use the first initial of their name.
If none of the above will work, I break their name down into syllables and paint pictures, which might even include what rhymes with each syllable.
For example, the first person you meet has the name of Diana. Diana is in her early 20s. As I continue repeating Diana in my head, I begin to use my eyes to paint a vivid picture that Princess Diana is standing in front of me. I visualize that I am telling my kids that Princess Diana was once in a class of mine. I tell them about how she looked when she was younger.
As I continually repeat her name in my mind, my second association is with someone I know personally. I used to date a girl named Diana, and she broke up with me. I now picture myself being kind to Diana in class, but after class, I am going to break-up with her and tell her it is over! Sorry, Diana, you broke my heart, so get another ride to the prom!
As I continually repeat her name, I will use my third association using their first initial. Diana starts with the letter D, so she probably got a D average in High School. How smart could she be seeing that she was stupid enough to break-up with a catch like me?
I now take about 30-seconds to make sure I have all three associations down. Princess Diana, my ex-girlfriend Diana, and she was a ‘D’ student.
Because the process of remembering everyone’s name is complicated, you will need to check and verify your names. Giving someone three visualizations will allow you to check multiple associations, so you can become 100% confident you have their correct name.
I am about to meet my second student, and I remind myself to be sure to turn off my eyes. I then meet a person named John. I ask, “What brings you to class today?” As I continually repeat John in my mind, I think of someone famous. “Oh, my goodness, John Wayne, is in my class! I am excited to teach someone who is a movie star. Maybe John can get me a bit part in his next feature film!”
The next association is someone I know personally. “My cousin John stole my wallet once, so I need to keep an eye on this student.”
The third association this time is a rhyme. You imagine that since this individual’s name is John, he must sleep on the lawn!” I picture this person sleeping outside under the stars.
Focus 100% of your Attention on Names
Theory Number Two: Once you start the memorization process, you cannot lose concentration for a single moment for at least ten minutes.
Short term memory is exceedingly small, and you need to keep refreshing it continually for ten minutes, or you will have no prayer of remembering these names. After meeting John, I immediately start repeating my associations for both John and Diana, and I continually repeat both names in a different order.
Even if someone comes in and interrupts me and says, “I am the projector guy. Where should I set up the projector?” I shake his hand, tell him where to set up, but as I am doing so, I still repeat the names, and I make the name repetition almost my entire focus. I do not really see him, I can barely hear him, and although I am looking at him, I am only seeing the students in my mind.
I am going to let nothing get in my way of remembering the names!
I continue to repeat in my head over and over again, “John and Diana, Diana and John, Princess Diana, John Wayne, she broke up with me, he stole my wallet, her first initial is D, and his first initial is J. If they worked together, they would be DJ’s on the radio.”
Nothing can break your concentration. After about 30-seconds, you move to the next person.
To control the pace of meeting others, you do not want to be barnstormed. By this term, I mean, you do not want a bunch of introductions immediately at the same time, or you cannot give each individual the 30-seconds needed to cement the visualizations in your brain.
I like to go to my desk and pretend I am working on paperwork or pretend to check my phone. Still, the entire time I am continually going over the names and visualizations of the people I have already met.
Continuing to repeat their names in different order is a key to focusing 100% of your energy on remembering their names.
I am then ready to meet another person. I tell myself to turn off my eyes. I then introduce myself to Hitesh, which is a name in which I am less familiar. I do not know anyone famous named Hitesh, nor did I grow up with anyone whose name is Hitesh. Sensing danger, I put some extra time into his name. I ask him, “What brings you to class today?” I then begin to break it down into syllables, and I start with “Hit.”
"I hope he doesn’t hit me." I visualize myself teaching, and Hitesh comes up and hits me in the face! I might need to duck when he swings.
I then work on the second syllable and notice it is like “ash,” but it is “esh.”
"I hope he doesn’t go near the fire and Hit ash with an E."
I then notice his name is like John Tesh, the radio host, but it is Hi Tesh.
"His name starts with an “H,” so he seems very happy."
I go over the name until it is apparent to me. I know this name will be more difficult to remember than Diana and John, so I give myself a little more time. I continually make Hitesh my top memorization priority as I repeat, “Hitesh, Diana, Hitesh, John, Hitesh, Hit Ash with an E, Diana, Hitesh, John, Hitesh, Diana, Hitesh is happy, Diana broke up with me, John stole my wallet, Hitesh might Hit the Ash!
I now continue this process as I meet another student. I do not panic or lose concentration. At some time, the process becomes slightly confusing and somewhat tricky, but there is a turning point where all of a sudden, you have all of the names for sure.
I stay disciplined enough to know to turn my eyes off when during the introduction and to turn my eyes on to paint my associations. Concentration and focus are the keys as I repeat the names continuously. If I do all these things, I will have the names down ideally in about ten minutes.
At first, I could only do about eight names, then ten, then twenty, thirty, and then one day I did 80 names! With practice, you will get better and better at this.
Doing this as a teacher makes my students feel important and valued from the first minute of the class, thus endearing us together right from the start. Learning everyone’s name seems impossible to everyone else in the class, so people always think I am a genius, and that is important for credibility.
Are memorizing names easy? No way. I always say, “I work harder in the first ten minutes than most teachers do in an entire day.”
Follow these techniques and watch your career skyrocket, as well!
Remember to stay with the process I have taught you for about ten minutes, and you will have the names down. The three keys are:
1. Turn your eyes off to hear each name.
2. Turn your eyes on to paint visual pictures and exaggerated associations.
3. Keep their names in short term memory through concentration and repeated name games.
Remembering Names in a Group
Sometimes you will be in a meeting, and the individual you know introduces you to three people simultaneously. “This is Mary, Greg, and Sammy.”
You have to change tactics immediately. You must continue to repeat in your head, “Mary, Greg, Sammy” - “Mary, Greg, Sammy” - “Mary, Greg, Sammy.”
As you repeat, you can begin to give Mary a visualization or two. As you repeat all three names, you can then give Greg a visualization or two. As you continue to repeat the names, you can provide Sammy a visualization or two. You keep repeating the names until you have 100% got your visualizations down, and you are confident you know their names.
At crucial times in the meeting, you can use their name. Do it discreetly and time it wisely but refer to them by name at least one time. Even if it is as you are leaving by saying, “Sammy, it has been a pleasure meeting you.”
Nothing is more exciting to a person than someone who remembers their name! They will think you are a genius.
When I went to Bell Labs
I was a relatively new teacher for NCR corporation, and I was considered a junior teacher for a subject on supercomputers. I was still learning the subject, and other teachers were experts with a lot of experience.
NCR came across an opportunity to teach one of our classes on supercomputers to students at Bell Labs, which at the time was considered the cream of the crop for computer minds.
As each teacher went into Bell Labs, they did not last an hour before the students told them to leave. In some cases, the students would ask the teacher, “Please tell me why we would listen to you?” If they did not have a good enough answer, a request came for them to leave.
When our management team told the other teachers, they were going to send me in to teach the class, my peers where flabbergasted. Why would management send in a junior teacher when the top experts had to leave?
When I went into the classroom, I meet each student, and I began the class. I asked each student to introduce themselves, list some of their credentials, and tell us what they were most interested in getting out of the course. I started by saying, “Can I start with you, Abhishek?” After Abhishek finishes, I immediately point to the next person and say, “Tell us about yourself, Constantine.” When Constantine ends, I go to the next person and use every name in the room.
When I move through every name, discreetly using each name, the Bell Labs people were stunned. The students thought, “How is it possible? Nobody is smart enough to know everyone’s name before the class begins.
A Bell Labs person might have the capability of putting together a computer our of spare parts from a phone and a motherboard, but none of them could ever remember everyone’s name! They looked at me like I was the smartest person they had ever met.
Not only did I last an hour, but I taught an entire week and received perfect reviews!
Comments