“Speak in a moment of anger, and you’ll deliver the greatest speech you’ll ever regret.”
– Anonymous
Though I hope you never have to encounter it, you may, at times, face confrontation during a speech or presentation. The controversy is much more likely to occur if you are speaking on a controversial topic. When discussing a confrontational subject, the audience will comprise of three groups: 1) Those that share your point of view 2) Those who oppose your point of view 3) Those who are undecided Those who share your point of view are your allies, as they need no convincing on your behalf to agree with you. Those who oppose it are your adversaries and will argue to make their point of view known. Do not try and change their minds; it will be impossible in the short time you have to speak. Instead, direct your speech to those who are undecided as you still have the opportunity to persuade them, thus increasing your allies in the room. Being equipped to handle confrontation is just another aspect of being a great speaker. In the points that follow, you will receive the tools necessary to manage any adversary.
Never say, “I.”
Learn never to use the word I when discussing a controversial topic. For example, do not say, “I hate dogs.” You may get hostile audience members and have to run for your life. Instead, make generalities like, “Many people don’t like dogs. If you never say I, you are never giving your opinion, and people can‘t attribute things to you that they can later use against you.
I was once teaching a class that might turn hostile at a moment's notice. I did not use the word I at any time. The course had some tense moments, but I was the messenger, and by not providing my opinion, no anger went towards me.
Avoid the first hand
When discussing a controversial topic, the first hand to go up in the audience usually belongs to the person hoping to ask the most hostile question. Call on someone else and take the wind out of their proverbial sails.
Always look directly at your adversary
Always look directly at your adversary when dealing with conflict. That does not mean scowling at them, but find a spot in between and just above their eyes. It will appear as if you are making excellent eye contact, but you won’t see them directly. Don‘t let your eyes wander because it tends to give an audience the impression that you are shifty or untrustworthy.
By looking directly at your adversary, you give the impression that you are reasonable, honest, thoughtful, and trustworthy. When you appear calm and confident, your adversary will realize the threat you pose to their credibility.
Avoid loaded questions
“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.”
Unknown
When answering a hostile or loaded question does not give the questioner ammunition. Reword their question using appropriate terms and carefully omit their buzz words. Answer honestly, and don‘t try to deny anything. Do not tell them that they are wrong, or you will play right into the adversary‘s hands.
Always finish with your statement
After answering hostile questions, always end physically away from the person without making eye contact. The right way of doing this is to use a shoulder turn and call on someone else quickly. Then finish with a summary of your own. Don‘t let someone else‘s question end your presentation.
Shutting hostile people up
When someone is trying to ruin your presentation, a great way to assert authority over them is to blink as little as possible. When addressing others, blink frequently, but when you look at Mr. or Mrs. Nasty, control your blinking, and blink much less. This technique will unconsciously put them in a position of subordination. They will not even know where it came from, but when you don‘t blink, you can ultimately settle someone down. This technique goes back to the dominant and submissive qualities we associate subconsciously to blinking.
The Move
“Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”
– Anonymous
If you get someone who is irate or someone who you need to shut down immediately, make sure you crunch your toes to plant your feet, and that you have no movement in your lower body. Stay in your park position of the Park N Drive technique. Face them directly. Merely repeat the same thing they said, omitting their buzz words in a way that acknowledges their point. Use better buzz words, and then, point to someone across the room and say, “Did you have a question?” Turn your hand, so your palm faces them while turning your back to them. When you turn a shoulder, it tells someone to shut up. And when you merely confirm what they say with better buzz words, there isn‘t much else for them to say.
You can also always say, “Can we talk about this after class?” But use that as a last resort.
Prepared Questions
Consider having a few complicated trick questions in reserve so that you can make an example out of a difficult student. Their failure to answer your question will assert your intellectual authority over the classroom and cripple the hostile student‘s momentum.
There is no need to insult them or rub the failure in their face directly. You certainly don‘t want to come off as petty. However, the embarrassment you will cause this student will almost certainly prevent further interruptions.
The Bait the Difficult Audience Member Technique
I teach some of the brightest and most technical students in the world on supercomputers. Occasionally, they can be aggressive by showing everyone how smart they are, so if I expect some trouble, I use a technique to throw them off their game. I only use this when I know someone is going to be difficult, or the lecture is a primer for someone that wants to throw off the class.
I discuss how computer chips have continually gotten smaller, which makes them faster. I go to the board, and with chalk, I draw a line about 10 feet. I then cut the line if half. I then cut that line if half. I continue to cut the line half until it is quite small. I then ask, “How long can the line be cut in half?” The most aggressive person will always yell out, “Forever or Infinity.”
It is then that I say, “No.” “If there are an infinite amount of points between point A and Point B, then how could I ever reach the destination? Can you imagine having the kids in the back seat, “Daddy, how much longer? – Oh, don’t worry, we only have infinity to go!”
Everyone has a good laugh, and it takes the aggressive person back just a little bit. The humor will shake their confidence, and it keeps them from just jumping in at a moment’s notice.
Use your speaking skills
If someone seems hopelessly intent on disrupting your class, ignore them. Continue using your newfound speech techniques to educate, interest, and inspire your other audience members. The more people you get on your side, the less likely the hostile individual will come after you. People seldom pick on the most popular person in fear of alienating themselves from the rest of the crowd!
By using any of the techniques outlined above, you can handle an adversary in the classroom with style and class while diffusing the situation. Remember never to insult or directly antagonize a student and only use the harsher techniques when necessary.
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